Tarzan grows up in the jungle because the sailors on his parents’ ship mutiny and maroon them there. Two decades later, the sailors on his cousin’s ship ALSO mutiny and maroon him and Jane in the exact same area where Tarzan happens to live
He’s raised by apes after his parents die because one of them who’s been carrying around her own dead baby is moved by the maternal spirit to drop its corpse in Tarzan’s crib and pick up the human baby instead
Tarzan teaches himself how to read and write fluent English by reading his parents’ old books
He later leaves Jane and co. really passive-aggressive notes telling them that he’s Tarzan and they better not touch his stuff
Tarzan also rescues them from various jungle troubles in person, but he can’t communicate with them because he can’t speak/understand spoken English
Jane and her friends spend their entire time in the jungle thinking that there are TWO DIFFERENT people who keep saving them: their reclusive host who leaves them salty messages and signs his name Tarzan of the Apes and then that other guy who lives with the apes
Literally they never put two and two together until Tarzan tracks them down in America and tells them he was Tarzan all along
Which he does in French
Because back in the jungle he rescued a French guy who taught him how to speak that language
So Tarzan can read and write English but speaks only French by the time he leaves the jungle
Jane goes back to America while Tarzan is off helping his French friend, and he follows her all the way home just to arrive the day before she’s gonna marry a rich guy to cover her father’s debts. It’s literally one of those Taylor Swift STOP THE WEDDING tropes, but with this weirdly buff ape man yelling in French instead
Jane’s father has debts because he borrowed a ton of money to charter a ship and follow a pirate treasure map he found, which, logical. We’ve all been there
The sailors on that ship are the ones who mutiny and maroon Jane earlier on, after finding the treasure and deciding they want to keep it for themselves
But Tarzan sees them rebury the chest and he digs it up and takes it with him to America to find Jane. The sailors are later very confused when they go back and find the treasure missing
Meanwhile Tarzan’s friend keeps trying to convince him that he’s the son of those two adult skeletons in his cabin, but Tarzan is all like, nah, I’m pretty sure that baby ape skeleton in the crib was theirs.
Oh also yeah, Tarzan totally just left all three skeletons lying around until his human friends showed up and were like, boy, you’re nasty
Also Tarzan needs a lot of convincing to believe that his ape foster mom wasn’t his birth mother
Like an absurd amount of convincing, really
His friend finally proves it by dragging Tarzan to a fingerprint expert in Europe to compare his prints to the baby ones that his dad fortuitously recorded in his journal just before he died.
The fingerprint proof means he’s actually the heir to his family’s title and wealth instead of his cousin, but he decides not to tell Jane about it
Because after Tarzan interrupts her wedding plans and gives her the pirate treasure (so that she doesn’t have to marry the rich guy), she turns down Tarzan’s own proposal and agrees to marry his cousin instead
And he’s like, alright, and leaves
Truly one of the great love stories of our time
I think she does change her mind and marry him in one of the sequels, but there are literally over two dozen of those that by all accounts are even weirder than this one and I just honestly don’t think I’m ready
This is accurate and that book was amazing 10/10 recommend every time Burroughs was a real weirdo and it was so much better than the movie please read his nonsense
I read this book and I can attest to the accuracy of the above statements.
But I feel the need to add that Edgar Rice Burroughs was a salty mofo! He threw such shade, what a dude.
Ok so here’s the story; he was working as a pencil sharpener wholesalemen for seven years (I know, startlingly mundane) when his wife had their second kid in 1909, he was bored beyond occupation and had copious spare time and began reading pulp-fiction magazines. In 1929, he recalled thinking that
“…if people were paid for writing rot such as I read in some of those magazines, that I could write stories just as rotten. As a matter of fact, although I had never written a story, I knew absolutely that I could write stories just as entertaining and probably a whole lot more so than any I chanced to read in those magazines.”
So what I’m telling you here is, this guy read something went this is TRASH, i could write better trash, in fact I WILL.
In case anyone’s wondering is because getting an x ray once is so barely harmful that it rounds to zero but standing in front of an x ray emitter 40 hours a week for years will definitely kill you
If I go to the bar and have one drink with the bartender I’ll be fine. If the bartender has a drink with every patron then they will die
This is all true and immediately obvious to anyone who thinks about it for more than 1.5 seconds, but it doesn’t change the fact that “dude goes to egypt to press a button” is still the funniest set of words I’ve read today.
twilight but bella is accidentally super stoned every time edward does something weird and supernatural so she never actually notices or figures it out by herself, but she points it out every time and scares the hell out of him
the cullens have had several code reds, all because edward’s new lab partner keeps brushing up against him unintentionally and going “woah, dude. you’re like, super cold”
eventually, after months of them hanging out and her repeatedly missing key things he gradually makes more and more obvious
he is literally sitting underneath the sun and sparkling, and she just squints at him, gives him a silly thumbs up, and then a high five shortly after
he just gives up and tells her
edward being so fed up with keeping the secret from bella so they’re lounging in the sun, with edward just waiting for it to click, for her to realise that he’s not human.
bella spends so long looking at him with edward completely frozen in place, waiting to see what her reaction will be. he’s prepared for fear in her eyes, for her to scream, to distance herself from him or possibly run away. what he is not prepared for is her lazily trailing her finger down the length of his forearm and breathing out a single word. “pretty.”
she then falls back on the grass with her eyes closed enjoying the sun but edward is so outraged that he springs to his feet, not even bothering to move at a human pace and throws her words back in her face as if they were an affront. “pretty?? bella, this is the skin of a killer.”
bella just snorts, barely opening her eyes to look at him “okay, edgelord,” there’s a lazy smile on her face but she doesn’t even bother to sit up before she continues, “edward, seriously, that’s the skin of every teenage girl in the 90s and i admire your bravery in attempting to bring back body glitter but don’t oversell it.”
Me, autistic: are u telling me u can’t hear this incredibly loud fridge
The lights have sound
Electronics have sound
Appliances have sound
If electricity runs through it, it has sound.
Rarely is there actual silence (and that does bother me due to lack of sensory input).
This is why the barn uses me when they think the horses are reacting to a noise they can’t hear. I’ll likely find it (it’s usually the heating or the electrical box in the indoor).
I also know when the electric fences are on.
For years I was convinced that I was either hallucinating or had hearing damage, because electronics always made this high-pitched whine that was closer to being felt than heard, and nobody else knew what I was talking about.
Then I met other autistic people.
Wait so I’m not the only one who hears electric currents in things?
the world as we know it has ended and mother nature starts taking back what’s hers. there are no zombies or cannibals or murderous bandits. the most valued members of the community are those who know how to garden and farm, sew and weave, treat wounds, work wood or build with bricks, cook from scratch.
people bond together to begin rebuilding instead of killing each other. everyone teaches each other whatever they do know and works together to figure out the stuff none of them know. books become incredibly valued resources because they’re often the only way to learn critical information. if someone is elderly, disabled, or otherwise unable to work at the same level as most of the community, they’re taken care of by the others, not told any sort of “survival of the fittest” bs.
as the generations ware on, communities begin expanding into small cities. some of the settlements even find ways to repurpose solar or wind power on a small scale and have electricity in some of their buildings. storytellers wander the countryside telling tales of the old world in return for some hot stew or a place to rest for the night, and the mythos of the new world start to incorporate elements of the past. the only thing that remains constant is that humans survive, and they do it by working together.
A CHILL AF MANGA ABOUT A ROBOT LADY RUNNING A COFFEE SHOP DURING THE DECLINE OF HUMANITY WHERE EVERYONE IS SUPER NICE AND HAPPY AND IT’S JUST REALLY LOVELY
IT IS LEGIT ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCI-FI WORKS AND A HUGE INSPIRATION FOR MY WRITING
IF YOU LIKE A QUIET END OF THE WORLD PLEASE CHECK IT OUT BLESS
a non dystopian future would be a nice change of pace for once XD
guys this is one of my favorite manga of all time, also a major inspiration for me in terms of tone and themes, please read it you will love it also it is gay
Me practicing this housewife thing for when I drop out of uni
Hey so I just feel the need to add this. NEVER deep fry in a shallow pot. What happened here is this person put frozen fries in hot oil, and the hot oil will nearly double in size when you drop something cold in it. Then it overflows out of the pot and you have a grease fire. You should never have oil more than about a third of the way up the pot.
Reblogging because even I didn’t officially know this.
Reblog if you believe phone call anxiety is real and it isn’t childish bad behavior.
Trying to prove a point to this job helper.
Phone calls can be harder on your anxiety bc you cant pick up on the other persons behavioral cues as you talk with them
^^^^
After 10+ years of psychotherapy, almost all of my social anxiety triggers are now at a manageable level—even academic public speaking, which was my #1 worst trigger for most of my life—except for my phone anxiety. It’s literally the one and only thing I’ve never been able to significantly improve.
I have to talk the whole conversation through with my friends beforehand.
I have to get explicit confirmation from my friends that “yes, you really need to ring that person right now”.
I have to write scripts.
I have to take anti-anxiety meds, or get drunk.
I only ever ring someone as the very last resort, when all other methods are unavailable.
I hyperventilate and cry afterwards.
I’m also a 28-year-old scientist with three degrees and a teaching position. I’m normally a logical (albeit emotional) person. But anxiety is not logical.
Anxiety is due to inability to correctly perceive threats—more specifically, due to both increased expectation and increased frequency of false recognition of threats in response to neutral stimuli (this is called “pessimistic bias”). Social anxiety simply means that this inability to correctly perceive threats is specific to social interactions, rather than generalised to all aspects of life. (For example, a resting facial expression or lack of verbal acknowledgement
is more likely to be perceived as anger, disgust or rejection by a
socially anxious person than a neurotypical person. But a socially anxious person is not particularly more likely to worry throughout the day that they’ve left their stove on.)
Therefore, socially anxious people learn to cope with this bias by becoming hypervigilant to social cues such as posture, hand gestures, nodding, eye contact, eyebrow position, mouth tightness, tone of voice, talking speed etc., and then using all the available information to attempt to be logical and “talk down the anxiety”. We also learn to be high self-monitors, which means that we closely observe our audience and constantly (subconsciously) monitor their responses in order to ensure that they accept us and deem us “appropriate”.
But non-verbal social cues aren’t available
during phone calls!
There isn’t any body language to read, or eyes to look into. You can’t monitor your audience for approval. They don’t follow the script you prepared. All you have is their voice, which is usually masked (everyone seems to have a “phone voice”, “customer service voice” or “professional voice”) and distorted by the phone and is therefore useless. All of a sudden you’re back to relying on a single neutral stimulus, and the pessimistic bias kicks in, and you start to panic because you’re not getting constant feedback.
It’s a Recognised Psychological Thing™.
Phone anxiety (actually, phone phobia) is one of the most common, most recognised and most treated phobias in the world. Social anxiety—of which phone phobia is an extremely prevalent trigger—is one of the most common, most recognised and most treated
anxiety disorders in the world.
It’s most definitely real, most definitely not “childish”, and you’re not alone.
